Hit the Brakes! A Rant About Cars

Yessmin Arevalo

Yessmin Arevalo (she/her/ella) holds a bachelor’s in mathematics from University of Texaa at Austin. Occasionally, Yessmin will dabble in poetry, art and all things non-math. Her writings are meant to be chaotic and squeeze a laught out. She has been published in the “Red Ogre Review” and was an honorable mention in the Who Freakin’ Cares Writing Contest for poetic rejects hosted by “Chill Subs.”

Hit the Brakes! A Rant About Cars

Nonfiction

by Yessmin Arevalo

Cars,
How do they work?
No, not those types of cars.
Cars from the movie.
The ones with eyes and speaking lips.
You probably slept on a McQueen twin bed frame.
Does that ring a bell?
Or honk a horn?
How do they honk?
Is it yelling or screaming, are they signaling pain?
Clapping even?
Is the engine the immune system?
Where is the brain?
What makes a car sentient or an animal?
If they don’t eat anything, why have tongues?
What do they eat? Drink?
What’s the equivalent of alcohol in the Cars universe?
Is there racism? Classism? Ageism?
Is it based on the make or model? Both?
Why is Michael Schumacher in it?
Why wasn’t he a Ferrari F1-2000?
How are cars made?
Do they start off as babies?
How about puberty?
Do they “grow out” of body parts?
Do they consummate?
Is that the purpose of the doors?
Why even have doors if humans don’t exist?
Consuming gas, what body part does it go in?
Is gas like milk?
Does that make oil rigs cows?
Do they shower or is it just a car wash?
When using restrooms, what do they release?
Is rust similar to wrinkles?
Do cars in this universe use skincare?
Do cars get illnesses like breast cancer?
What car part could be considered the breast?
The headlights?
Can they get plastic surgery?
Is a boob job getting bigger or brighter headlights?
My mind is racing,
Just like McQueen.
Ka-chow.